Because this summer has been a pretty slow one, and because I really have no life, and because daytime TV sucks, I have been watching a lot of kid’s shows. One of them is Spongebob Squarepants. I have always been a Spongebob fan, but now that I am an adult I have come to realize something. Spongebob is gay. Yes, I know this may surprise some of you, but I have some hardcore evidence to prove my hypothesis.
1- He lives in a pineapple. The last time I checked pineapples were not very manly.
2- He can make a rainbow with his hands.
3- He is 22 years old and still enjoys blowing bubbles.
4- He skips and sings on his way to work.
5- He has an extremely high pitched voice.
6- His only date ever was taking a minor to prom. Creepy.
7- He cried when he thought he was ugly.
8- His only female friend is a squirrel, who is not very feminine by the way.
9- When Pearl picked new outifits for the Krusty Krab employees Spongebob was very excited. They were pink with red flowers…
10- When Patrick and Spongebob find a clam, they decide to raise it like it was their own. Guess who was the mother of the family…
I think I have made it clear that Spongebob is gay, well at least in my mind I did. The creators of Spongebob have denied rumors of Spongebob’s homosexuality, but they know it’s true.