Breaking News

Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth this morning to a “healthy” baby girl at approximately 9:30 central time. Although I doubt she will be healthy growing up in the Spears family. The name of the baby is Maddie Briann and is 6lbs 10 oz. It makes you wonder why there are two “n’s” in Brian.  EDITORS NOTE: Yes, I was informed that the name is supposed to sound like, “Brianne”. I was confused and apologize for any confusion that may have occured. God is Love, Rev Run. Jamie Lynn probably didn’t know how to spell it since she hasn’t officially completed her GED. The pregnacy was earlier than expected and The National Enquirer was the first to report this great news. Britney was spotted entering the hospital near Jamie Lynn’s hometown this morning to visit her sister. Casey Alrdidge is probably the happiest “baby daddy” in the world today.

Knowing Maddie won’t have a normal life, I have composed a list of Top 10 Reasons Why.

Top 10 Reasons Why Maddie Briann Won’t Have a Normal Life:

1) Having Britney as an aunt (need I say more)

2) The shock of finding out your mother is playing a freshman on Zoey 101 while she was pregant with you.

3) Jamie Lynn slipping rum in her bottles causing Maddie to become an alcoholic at a very young age.

4) Being one of the world’s most famous illigitimate children.

5) HAVING BRITNEY AS AN AUNT!!!!

6) Having a dad who carries around a shotgun wherever he goes. http://www.tmz.com/2008/04/07/jamie-lynns-man-is-loaded/

7) Having parents who spend more time at Wal-Mart than taking care of her.

8- Being raised in a house that used to have a hair-salon and there is a barn connected to the house. Yes, it’s true. I did my research.

9) Getting a “Baby’s First Tabloid Magazine” for her 1st Birthday.

10) HAVING BRITNEY AS AN AUNT!!!!!!!!!

Yes. It’s agreed she won’t be normal, but I wish her the best of luck. Pretty soon I will be doing another one of these about Miley. Oh yeah, and thanks to Perez Hilton for that awesome pic! God is love, Rev Run,

 

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4 Responses to Breaking News

  1. Blog Master says:

    11) Sharing the same birthday as Paula Abdul

  2. professional blogger says:

    GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!

  3. babymamagoodz says:

    Wow, that poor baby, and from a real babymama, I would know. Thanks for the update on another “illegitimate” Spears spawn. Am breathless til you give us more!!!

  4. colleen Donovan says:

    Well arent you all Mr. Opinionated, I like this side of you Dave! I will give you and all the kids of your age (including Jamie Lynn) sound advice my Grandma Hartman gave to all….”Wear a raincoat” (by raincoat she meant a condom)

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